Am I Even Good Enough to Have Imposter Syndrome?

The fun thing about imposter syndrome is that it sometimes goes meta. We don’t just get imposter syndrome. We get imposter syndrome about our imposter syndrome.

Because imposter syndrome is the belief that we’re not good enough, right? That we haven’t earned our accomplishments, or that we don’t have what it takes to achieve our dreams. And if anyone ever finds out that we’re not actually that good, we’ll be exposed as a fraud.

We don’t think that it applies to us, though. Because imposter syndrome is for people who really do have what it takes. And we obviously don’t. So the label doesn’t belong to us. Instead of improving our confidence, we should just focus on getting better at what we do. That way, if we end up with imposter syndrome, at least we’ll have earned it. Right?

Well, the truth is that you’re probably doing way, way better than you think you are. Yes, I’m talking to you. Let me explain why.

You Might Have Been Taught that You’re Less Deserving

This post mainly focuses on quirky things that our brains do. These things are basically universal.

But some groups — like people of color, women, queer people, and religious minorities — deal with an extra layer. They’re taught that they are inherently less deserving than others. That message takes its toll. It chips away at self-esteem.

Sometimes, people outright tell you that you’re less deserving. Sometimes, society tells you indirectly. If you’re consistently overlooked in spite of your hard work, it’s hard not to internalize the message that you must not deserve recognition. Even if you logically know that what you’re facing is discrimination.

Your Brain Keeps Moving the Goalposts

I do musical theatre. And I often self-sabotage by convincing myself that I’m “not ready” to advance my career. I give myself evidence to support my claims, too.

See, at first I wasn’t ready because I wasn’t great at belting. But now I am, so this time I’m not ready because I’m not great at riffing.

Part of my brain remains convinced that as soon as I learn how to riff, I’ll be unstoppable. In reality, once I get really good at riffing, my brain is just going to move the goalpost again.

Brains do that. They have a fun way of convincing us that we’re just not quite good enough yet. And it’s not even because we have self-esteem issues, necessarily. It’s because of how learning works.

Dopamine is Your Friend Until it Isn’t

When you want to learn a new skill, you practice it. You get it wrong several times before you finally get it right. Once you do get it right, your brain releases dopamine, and that’s why you feel so happy and accomplished.

The dopamine reward is what makes you keep practicing, because you want to chase that feeling.

Dopamine is going to help you get good at that skill. But once it accomplishes that goal, it’s going to move on to something else, like Mary Poppins after bringing the Banks family together. Because its job here is done. And it’ll know that its job is done when things start getting predictable.

When you’re just getting good at something, you won’t always get it right. And believe it or not, part of your brain loves that. It keeps you practicing, because the unpredictability is exciting. Will this be one of the times when you nail it? And each time you do, the surprise makes the reward even better.

But then things start to become more predictable. You start getting it right more often than you get it wrong. Eventually, you get it right every single time. Obviously, that’s a good thing. But when a skill becomes commonplace, it’s not so exciting anymore, is it?

That first time you got it right, you felt accomplished. That “I did it!” feeling came from dopamine. Now that the dopamine’s gone, the accomplishment doesn’t feel so much like an accomplishment.

And that’s where the imposter syndrome comes in. From the outside, anyone can tell that you’ve done something really cool. But from where you’re standing, you’ve just done something very normal. And because it’s normal, it doesn’t feel very praiseworthy, does it?

Ironically, the better you get at something, the less you may feel that you deserve recognition for it. So when you do gain recognition for it, it feels like you’re cheating the system. They might as well reward you for putting on your socks or pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

You absolutely deserve recognition, but your brain chemistry doesn’t see it that way.

The Skill Seems Easier Because it Really is Easier

Want to know something cool about skill-building? When you keep practicing, the skill doesn’t just seem easier. It genuinely becomes easier for you.

Learning a new skill is like going on a hike. If you keep taking the same route, you’ll eventually clear a path for yourself. The more you walk that path, the wider it becomes.

Our brains build neural pathways in the same way. When we repeat an action multiple times, they build wide pathways. They give us shortcuts.

When skills become easier, they stop feeling like a big deal. Just like when they become commonplace. A part of us forgets that this skill isn’t easy for everybody. And that from somebody else’s perspective, that skill actually looks really impressive.

So what do we do? Instead of seeing ourselves as people who can do cool stuff, we just see the stuff as less cool. “It can’t be that impressive if I can do it,” we think.

When You’re Used to Working Twice as Hard for Half the Results, Getting What You’ve Earned Feels Like Cheating

I have ADHD. It went undiagnosed for most of my life, so it went untreated for most of my life, too.

If life is like running a race, untreated ADHD is like an invisible treadmill. You can run as fast as you can and never get anywhere. Meanwhile, people jog past you at a leisurely pace, telling you that if you just ran faster and tried harder, you might actually get somewhere.

Getting treatment is like stepping off the treadmill. You’re so used to running as hard as you can that this race seems really easy now. You might catch up to other people. You may even pass the joggers. As a matter of fact, you can slow down a little bit and still get where you need to go.

But you’ve spent this entire race thinking that you’re not running as hard as anyone else. Now that you’re passing them, you’re convinced that you must be cheating. How could it possibly be this easy? If you get a trophy, you’ll be convinced you don’t deserve it. But you didn’t cheat. You’ve always worked hard. The only difference is that your circumstances support your work now.

This doesn’t just apply to ADHD. Other circumstances can cause this feeling. When you’re used to terrible pay, a living wage feels like extravagance. When you’re used to being overworked, rest feels like laziness. When you’re used to anxiety, peace feels like apathy.

Sometimes, when you actually start getting what you deserve without working yourself to the bone, it feels like you don’t deserve that reward. Even though you do. You always did.

Well, Now What?

Now you know some possible reasons for your imposter syndrome. What do you do next? To be honest, I’m still working on this one myself.

One thing that I do is imagine talking to a past version of myself. I tell Past Lynn about something I can do now that she wishes she could do. This exercise helps me grasp that I really am a lot more capable than I think.

I’m doing a lot better than I think I am. So are you. Let’s give ourselves some grace while we learn to believe it.